Me

recently I hadn't done a lot, well too much depression, hoping to get out of it and managing with my problems finally I try to make peace with my self and try to work it out
during my early shower today, I still had a little bit taste in my mouth of hating my self,while i was thinking and had small bites of the movieof my life in my head,I realised these things about my life, how priviliged I am, living in Europe,30 year old,has internet, access to work and study, able to read and express myself on my own way,drinking mineral water,and can choose to have porridge or toast for breakfast,being passionate about my job, and the people I know, having little money,able to buy what I wish for, living normal, healthy even with the little problems I do face with my health,I have a choice with whom to share my life,and enjoy it freely,not to be forced to do things that I don't want to do,able to make compromises, and ready to say no, even to let go,to be aware also that I'm generalizing sometimes and I do have prejudices,and I do try work on them,and I'm pissed off that some one get the job that I have dreamed of,also sometime jelous
to scream and run when I have to and facing my own demons, I am happy to make my own mistakes and having great family and friends and they like me just the way I am.
Iam not perfect and donot want to be,trying to have friendly realtion ship with my body and my self.
to be a predator or bambi if I feel like.
sharing the silence which i like very much with someone who accept it and don't complain of it or even with strangers sometime
to cry on the songs on my bathroom's floor when I'm sad and sing when I'm tipsy and high when I'm in good or bad mood. it seems that I"m ambivilliant in my own way
well this is me ,about me and its good to be me right here, right now!but I wouldn't have this conversation with my self, If I haven't been in depression on a foggy rainy autumn which already started here and I reached 30 years of my life, well happy birthday me,